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Thread: Some things to ponder over

  1. #1
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    Default Some things to ponder over

    1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and ****head's.

    2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

    3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

    4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,"Thyroid problem?"

    5. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

    6. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

    8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?

    9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

    10. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

    11. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes,make Bloody Marys.

    12.. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

    13. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

    14. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

    15. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

    16. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to
    attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains."

    17. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.

    18. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery
    tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

    19. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

    20. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    21. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

    22. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

    23. Snowmen fall from Heaven un-assembled.

    24. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't
    pick that up, you don't know where it's been.

  2. The following users thank 5 For this above post:

    Bob2701 (21-07-2011), Doctor_Death (21-07-2011), Drdeath (21-07-2011), rrplay (21-07-2011), Skyguy (21-07-2011)

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    Vinman, you have a lot of time to ponder?

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    Default

    25. Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

    26. Why do they call a statue of a head a "bust", when it stops right above the part it should be named after?

    27. Take 2 minutes right now, and try not to think about penguins.

    28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    29. If "guns don't kill people, people kill people" is true, then does "Toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast" not hold merit?

    30. What language do deaf people think in?

    31. If religion is the opiate of the masses, wouldn't that make God a drug dealer?

    32. If you work at a sex shop, is it still considered NSFW?
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  5. The following user thanks shattered.likeness For this above post:

    Bob2701 (21-07-2011)

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    Some of these are funny, and some of these actually got me thinking, great post imho!

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    33. Why do they have braille on drive thru ATM's?
    Last edited by Drdeath; 21-07-2011 at 17:16.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drdeath View Post
    33. Why do they have braille on drive through ATM's?

    So people in the passenger seat can use the ATM

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    What would water look like if it wasn't wet?

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    Where would sea level be if all the sponges were taken out?
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